The transition to staying at home was definitely a lot harder than I anticipated it to be. Being a stay at home mom was not hard for me in the ways that some people share. I really don’t mind changing diapers all day. It really isn’t a big deal that I seem to wear my son’s food as much as he does. There are days that are long and I don’t have as much patience as others, but for the most part these things don’t seem to bother me. It comes with the territory of having kids and I knew that was what I was going to have a part of my days.
I didn’t expect how lonely it could feel sometimes. Especially in the beginning, when Jase was still so small, I didn’t get out much. He was eating every three hours and sleeping a lot, so it was not easy to get out and do a lot when I would have to stop and feed so often. I spent a lot of time at home with him. We had nice fall weather for a few months, so I could go on walks with Jase and get out a little to help me not feel so cooped up inside all the time. But then the winter months hit and it started to get really hard. We had just moved to a new area and I didn’t know very many people. I spent a lot of time inside and I started to feel really lonely. I started struggling with insomnia around the same time and I felt really discouraged.
I remember telling Chad that maybe I wasn’t made for being a stay at home mom; I didn’t understand why it was so hard for me. I had never heard of it being hard for other moms in the way it had been hard for me – I felt really alone with those feelings. Looking back I realize I probably was fighting a mild case of the winter blues as well. It is really hard to be inside and alone a lot during those dreary cold days.
God brought a wonderful new friend into my life when we moved, and I reached out to her for prayer just in the transition and for the first time I didn’t feel alone. She has a similar personality to me, very outgoing, so she identified with my feelings. She told me the first year as a Stay at Home Mom was really hard on her; she felt some of the very same things I was feeling. She encouraged me that it would get a little easier after the first year and when winter was over. It was just a big adjustment in life. It was really good to not feel like I was alone in those feelings.
I find it somewhat amusing that it didn’t cross my mind that I would have a hard time with being alone more. I have a personality that truly thrives with being around other people. I love being surrounded by relationships. I was caught off guard by that struggle, but it didn’t mean that I wasn’t exactly where God wanted me to be. Being home raising our children is a good place to be. It is a blessing to be called to be home with our kids, or even for those who take care of others’ kids, it can be tough sometimes. It can get a little lonely sometimes. I truly believe it is a place that the enemy would want to attack us in, because staying home and raising Godly children is definitely something he does not want. For some women, they find it exhausting to be changing diapers and cleaning up messes all day. For some women, they feel alone and distant from the outside world. For some women, they feel like they have lost who they are in being a housewife and mom. You can see where the enemy can try to attack the minds of mothers who are committed to raising their children at home.
I wanted to share how the transition was hard for me, so that others in my situation wouldn’t feel alone. I wanted mother’s to know that it is normal to feel alone or exhausted. It doesn’t mean that you weren’t made for this job or that God isn’t calling you to stay home. It is a big change that accompanies a whole lot of other changes in life (having a baby is a big change, in case you didn’t know). It helps to know we are not alone in this whole mommy thing. Tomorrow I will be sharing some things that I believe have really helped me to enjoy being a Stay at Home Mom, so be sure to look for tomorrow’s post.
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